K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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