Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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