Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
