someone threw a dead crab at me
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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