We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
