Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
