Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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