didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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