Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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