piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
