So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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