It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
