Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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