"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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