Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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