please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
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