Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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