The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
