I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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