Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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