you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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