Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
