Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Are we still banned from the library?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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