They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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