i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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