you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
