Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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