So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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