the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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