After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
