It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
