Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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