dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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