"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I need water and some morals
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I have post one night stand depression
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
