How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
