So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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