i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
