we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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