We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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