party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
