Can i not drive my cunt home
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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