If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
