i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
