It's like a parade of train wrecks.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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