Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
They have beer where we have blood.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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