Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
