i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
