You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
