just tell him i said nine months
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize