I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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