Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
