I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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