What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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