I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
