Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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