why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
