So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
