I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
