Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize