god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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