unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
