I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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