you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
