Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
