What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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