I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
