I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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