I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
This toilet bowl is my home.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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