ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
