remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I want to have your abortion
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
