Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
