Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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