I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
