He kissed a someone with a penis
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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