and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
