Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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