Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
